The Deep Song of Rage

Day 13 of 21 days sharing drawings from my book, I AM ALIVE: Creating Resilience and Healing Trauma with Art published by Schilt Publishing, Amsterdam.

During radiation treatment and the surgeries, I was in high vigilance, survival mode.

What I was not expecting was the anger and rage that arose after the intensive medical procedures. I could no longer recognise who I had become. It took years of therapy, writing, drawing, tears, frustration, meditation, prayer, planting trees and letting go… to untangle and dissolve the intense feelings around the experience, as well as any anger I had suppressed earlier in my life. I had to befriend it all.

I ended up buying a punching bag and gloves and hung them in my room. It was really helpful to punch the bag until I was exhausted (and as I was already depleted… this activity rarely lasted for longer than a minute).